Hello everyone! I realized that probably my previous post was very long and analytical, so I decided to take it down and separate it into two different posts with simple, straightforward questions. So, here we go, my questions for you today are the following:
1. Have you openly ‘come out’ to your family and close friends about your nonreligious views?
- If yes, was it a process that was easy or difficult for you and why?
- If not, do you have any specific reason(s) for not doing so?
2. What was your family’s reaction to you having a nonreligious viewpoint? Did you have to defend yourself about it, or was it an easy process to go through?
Yes, my familly knows that I don’t believe in god. They accept it. My familly members are not too religious I could say neutral. I can’t say there was an actual process, they know my beliefs through conversations we made and they never told me anything negative about that. They realized that my sayings were logical and they couldn’t force me to believe in something nobody can proove and conceive.
My friends also know I dont believe in god, some of them agree, some of them disagree. I think most people have made such conversations with friends, well it was the same as my familly. The “worst” reaction I can remember is when we were in a friends house playing cards, having one of those conversations and on some point I said “I dont believe these things”and the response was “what do you mean you don’t believe these things? That means you’re an atheist”, “well I guess you could say it that way” And then there was an akward silence for some seconds with him holding his head probably not being able to process the information, (I thought it was really funny) and the night continued normally.
I’m coming from a fairly religious family, my grandmother used to take me to the church on Christmas and Easter and we would probably fast for a few days.
I can’t exactly put my finger on when I ‘came out’ as an atheist, but all my family and friends know by now (maybe my grandmother doesn’t, but for her, there’s not such a thing as an atheist, I think she can’t grasp the concept, religion is something that comes naturally to her). I never had any problem with them. I got married last year, it was a civil ceremony and nobody told me “why don’t you do it in a church”, it’s been pretty clear that I wouldn’t ever. They also know I won’t baptise my kids if I have any and they’ve come to terms with this too. We share these views with my husband.
I can only remember once when I told a woman I barely knew that I’m an atheist and her immediate reaction was “And what are you? A Muslim?” to which I simply laughed because you have to choose your battles.
So far, I haven’t faced any problems being an atheist and I’m planning to remove religion from any official document soon.
1. Yes. I was very vocal about how little sense the whole thing made, and made sure everyone around me knew that I wouldn’t go along with something I found ridiculous and stupid.
2. Most of my family don’t care one way or another. The only one who didn’t accept it was my grandmother. We had several fights about it, but since she had lots of faith but no good arguments, she gave up on convincing me very quickly.
With that, I never had a problem. Everyone that knows me also knows I am not religious. My parents are not religious as well, and actively dislike the church in Greece. I think that my mother might be a bit “spiritual” or “theist” – but never discussed that in an in-depth manner. My friends are almost all nonreligious themselves, so I never faced any negative reactions to my own views.
So, I never had a problem speaking about my nonreligious views and never felt ashamed by them. But I know a lot of people that did, because I grew up in the suburbs where religion has a very intense presence in the public sphere. I also had the occasional “school problems”, where I would get into debates about that with my religion teachers – but nothing extreme because I was usually very quiet and knew that I will never change their opinions.
I do not identify as agnostic generally, especially with my Greek/religious friends. I just say that I am not very religious and then I leave it like that, open for everyone to interpret it the way they want. I believe-know that Greece is a very religious country where the church and the faith in the Christian God is very strong. But of course, my good friends and my close family members (parents and siblings) know about my religious beliefs.
It started as an act of defiance I suppose. I even was an altar boy at one point… Although I never much realized what I was doing, and it made my mother somewhat proud so I went along with it. Little did she know that that was what made me question a lot of the rituals and customs and what got me fed up with all the nonsensical stories to begin with.
Coming out as a non-believer happened as early as the age of 12-13, which is why I probably got off the hook for defending it. I guess they figured I would just “return to Jesus” one day, so it was a fairly easy “fight”. It does come up whenever we talk about deceased family members … They still dedicate a few masses per year to them, and consider it rude to not attend them.